RETIREMENT PLANS



Do I have to plan my retirement? Do I have enough money set aside so I can do all the fun things the brokers and investment people say are just waiting for me if I plan properly?


There will be travel to exotic places, beaches to lie on in the warm sun, blank canvases to fill up with paint as I take up new hobbies, sailing in the boat I have always wanted, but just didnt have the time.


Oh for crying out loud, get real. I never had the money to do most of those things when I was in my peak earning periods. How the devil would I get enough money to invest in all those joys waiting me in retirement?


Of course, like most of the retirees today, I didnt have my plan exactly up to date. I got as far as knowing when I wouldnt have to go back to that lousy job Ive had for the last twenty-five, or thirty, or forty years. That was the extent of the retirement plan. But like most of my fellow retirees, (this is taken from my absolutely made up poll) I get by.


For the first year I felt like a kid skipping school, and getting away with it. Fantastic feeling. Then I finally understood that I could do full time what I had been doing on the sly for all those years, not much. I think most of us, (remember this is the completely bogus poll) dont do too many exciting things in our lives. I wouldnt know how to sail a boat anyway and I like to look at paintings, but do one myself? Get outta here.


So I will do what I want to do for the near and most likely the far future. Like most of us, I will watch the television, read a few more books, really have time to appreciate my spouse, if youre lucky to have a really good one like I do, play a little bit with our grandchildren,involve myself in social protest movements. My current protest is a silent
protest against wearing ties. I promised myself I would never put one on again and I am keeping that promise.
What? Did I hear you say what an empty life, or was that GET A LIFE? My friend, this is my life. I have worked my required forty years or so and raised three children and still have the same wife. I never did all the things I planned for in retirement and I probably never will. But I am happy being a semi couch potato that does not have to punch a clock anymore, along with, I bet, the majority of other retirees.
(According again to my scientific polls that is.)


By Jim Kittelberger
The man who did all the research for this article. Someone had to.